You lost some weight, looking good.
You lost some weight, aren’t you too thin?

You lost some weight, looking good.

You lost some weight, aren’t you too thin?
How much do you weigh anyway? We’ve decided you’re too thin.
Gained few pounds huh?
Shouldn’t you lose some weight? Shouldn’t you gain some weight?

.....

Hearing such statements woman and especially a teenager will get the point that she’s constantly being judged by others. No matter if she’s aware of that, if she likes it or not or if she’s allowing that or not. People are judging. Whether or not she’s good looking enough, thin enough, but not too much, maybe she’s too big or maybe she’s too thin and gives bad example. Every such opinion is referring to a specific, real woman's body, and is measuring it with other people’s standards. She, especially a teen, is being assured that her self-esteem and self-worth is placed outside of her and lays in others people’s hands. Hearing such opinions many times subconsciously she’ll start to place her self-worth in others opinions, if she’s doing enough of the right things, if THEY’RE content enough. Such opinions in a content of body image or weight, told to a person a bit more sensitive or susceptible to other’s opinions is a recipe for future eating disorder.

If you’re not significantly under- or overweight, which may pose a risk to your health, how much you weigh and how you look like is nobody’s except your own business. (Even in this two situations there’s an empathetic, thought out way to say something, which is a subject for another time). You and only YOU decide if you’re feeling good in your own body, whether or not you’re treating it with respect, or maybe you’re abusing and punishing it. It’s you who should answer that questions. If you’re eating relatively healthy, reach for food when you’re physically hungry, you’re not having any unhealthy behaviours related to food, you’re not restricting amount of it even when hungry, you’re not treating it to cover unwanted emotions and most importantly you feel good and healthy than, unless you clearly ask,  nobody around should give you advice on how you should look or weigh. And I’m not talking about a visit at the doctor or dietician, I’m talking about everyday conversations with friends and family. I’m talking about all those family reunions where all the aunts and grandmas, with no second thought, are shooting at you opinions how should your body look like, how should your life look like.... Shouldn’t you have a boyfriend already, and what about starting university already… Everyone of us heard it more or less. However comments about body image, especially during growing up, when our bodies are very much changing on their own and we’re even more prone to criticism, are even more harmful.

Everyone of us judges another person without slightly knowing them. That’s our nature. But what a lot of people don’t realise we can stop right there. We don’t need to say it. Just leave it to yourself. Notice every judgmental thought that happens in your mind. Ask yourself why did you think that? Very often judgmental opinions have more to say about the person saying them, not who they’re concerning. One who is criticizing another’s appearance is probably dissatisfied with their own. It doesn’t have to be exactly the same thing. Sometimes judging others look we might be jealous of their success in any other area. Of course there’s always people who lack even a bit of empathy. They’ll say whatever without a second thought if it could hurt someone. But still I refuse to stop believing that most of us have enough empathy, sometimes maybe buried very deeply, to realise that words we say may be harmful. And we must use that empathy to